Elise Mitchell just joined the Nashville Entrepreneur Center board. She built Mitchell Communications Group from zero to 500% growth in five years, ran it for 18 years, then sold it. After a stint in global M&A, she now coaches founders through the same growth and exit decisions she made herself.
She also hit a wall that nearly broke her.
A major decision was being made outside her control. It threatened her agency’s growth trajectory. She fought it for months—calling everyone, exploring every option, burning energy on a battle she couldn’t win.
Mitchell sank into what she calls “a pretty dark place.” Discouraged, bitter, felt like a failure. While she obsessed over what she couldn’t control, she was failing the team that actually needed her.
Then came the realization that changed everything.
The Five Questions That Fixed It
Mitchell took over her next meeting. She apologized for being distracted and angry. Then she scrapped the agenda and spent several hours on five questions:
- What is our reality?
- What can’t we control?
- What can we control?
- What do we want to achieve?
- How does our strategy need to change?
The conversation was a game changer. They had brutal work ahead, but they had focus. Within months, they were back on track.
The Lesson
Mitchell’s takeaway: “You have to embrace ‘what’s so’ before you can move to ‘what’s next.'”
The hardest part isn’t the unfairness. It’s accepting that fair doesn’t matter. Life delivers what it delivers, not what you deserve.
What you do in response defines you as a leader more than the setback ever will.
For founders facing something similar: Get your mind right first. Then you can make smart moves. Your team needs you focused on what you can control, not what you can’t. The five questions work because they force you to separate the two.
Bitterness is expensive. Strategy is cheaper.